Tuesday, January 18, 2022

Here is everything that the Rs 2000 note has but doesn’t

Please take note: The fake stories around the real Rs 2,000 note.

Written by Leela Prasad | New Delhi |
December 14, 2016 7:24:23 pm
Please take note: The fake stories around the real Rs 2,000 note.

The Rs 2000 note has become an ephemeral black bunny of sorts, hopping from one secret chest to another as it continues to elude the honest tax payer. The recent cash seizures by the Income-Tax department, running into crores of rupees, mostly in Rs 2000 denomination, could mean only one thing: the new notes are not finding their way into the pockets of the common man. How did these secretly stashed bundles come under the I-T scanner? With all the outlandish theories floating around that are ripe for picking, the answer lies in “radioactive isotopes”. Rumours suggest that the Rs 2000 note was printed using radioactive ink. Well, someone had actually went through the trouble of looking up the periodic table and zeroing in on “radioactive isotope of Phosphorous (P32), which has 15 protons and 17 neutrons”. That has to be it.

Surprisingly, the pink note doesn’t not even have a tinge of green, and the radiation seemed to have bore no affect on Mahatma Gandhi’s smile. Dr Banner, you must look into this. The ‘scientific’ reasoning behind Rs 2000 notes skinny dipping in radiation appears to have come straight out of a creationist’s playbook. There is a reason that most evolution theorists believe that creationists did not evolve after reaching the homo erectus stage. Here is why: According to them, tax authorities can trace a large sum of money when it accumulates at a single location. It apparently transmits a signal of some kind, a beacon if you must, beckoning them like a bright light attracts fireflies. The homo erectuses responsible for this mischief fail to realise that radioactive elements are hazardous, and one would have to wear a hazmat suit, Breaking Bad-style, while dealing with them. As far as incredulous theories go, this one takes the cake, but the icing on top comes a close second.

In the early days of demonetisation, people were gripped with the theory that the new notes were implanted with a GPS chip that could be tracked via satellite. The origins seem slightly sketchy, but most Indians bought it, including RSS ideologue S Gurumurthy — he’s also the one who said Rs 2000 notes would be phased out in a few years. A news anchor went as far as reading out Whatsapp forwards from his phone to back the claim that the new notes were indeed embedded with nano chips, which could be traced easily. In keeping up with the times, anyone would have paid — through their e-wallets, of course — to watch the look on the face of those hoarding the new currency when they first heard of this hi-tech gimmickry.

The rumours did not end there, next in line was that the new notes did a ‘Houdini’ when left unused; in plain words hoarded. This has its origin story set in the ink used by most film ticket vendors and ATM machines where the print usually tends to disappear after a few days. Maybe also the fact that the new notes do shed some ink when they come in touch with water. As all rumours go even this was proved to be unfounded.

Then you might ask how did good ol’ I-T sleuths crackdown against hawala operators, black money hoarders and their ilk? Through old-fashioned investigative work, silly. And, of course, tip-offs from good Samaritans.

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